**COA** /----------------------------------------\ **COA** **COA** /| XXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX |\ **COA** /-------------/ | XXXXX XXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXX | \-------------\ | Volume No.: 1 | XX XX XXX XXX |Chris M DICKSON| | Issue No.: ?? | XX XXX XXX |42 Arlington Rd| | let's say SIX | XX XXXX XXX including XXX | Middlesbrough | | and maybe try | XX XX XXX train XXX | T S 5 7 R E | | it from there | XX XX XXX XXX | 01642 821929 | \-------------\ | XXXXX XX XXXXXXXXX XX XXX XX | /-------------/ **COA** \| XXX XX XXXXXXXXX XX XXX XX |/ **COA** **COA** \- E-mail to chris.dickson@keb.ox.ac.uk -/ **COA** I got a Third. The editorial being the last part to be written, of course [1], I'm writing late on the Wednesday night after the deadline. Tonight the results of BA (Hons) Mathematical Sciences were posted in the Examination Schools of Oxford University, and my son-of-a-PM tutor Robin Wilson rang me up to tell me that I had been awarded Third Class Honours. It's taking some time for this to settle in. Two weeks ago (er, 7*7*7 hours, give or take 7 minutes, as I type) I finished my last academic exam, perhaps forever, the snappily-titled "o3 Functional Programming and Algorithm Design", in the East Writing School and strode out victoriously into the rain to be greeted by hordes of my friends eager to celebrate the fin-de-siŠcle of the Finals rite of passage. Well, nearly. Thanks, TurboNick [2]. For over the previous ten days I had sat 25 hours' worth of depressingly difficult papers which would decide whether the last three years I had spent going to lectures and bashing my head against problem sheets would count for nothing or not. Gratifyingly, it didn't. Mathematics at Oxford University and I didn't get on all that well together. I really enjoyed the A-levels I sat in the subject, back in the old days of Sixth Form when I knew no better, so I sat the entrance exam, passed with hovering (is that the next best thing to flying?) colours, and found the offer of a place at Oxford too hard to turn down. And, as they say, it all went downhill from there. Sometimes those who don't know the truth think that university mathematics is just a harder version of what they did in school, and that we spend our days memorising 197 times tables and solving quadratic equations with seven-digit numbers. University maths is all about understanding the processes behind what you've been doing for years and tests you in ways not touched before by traditional schoolwork. There's an extent to which either you can do it or you can't, and I... couldn't. This was really the first time that I had been faced with a daily routine of work too hard for me, and I didn't (or, rather, haven't) coped well with it at all. I started off coping as well as anyone else with the majority of it, but as time went by, things started slipping away, and my work was getting worse and worse. In the formal exams at the end of the first year, I got a third, which was a horrible shock to the system. To put it in context, about seventeen or eighteen out of every twenty students got a second or better. It could have been worse - at least I had achieved some sort of result - but for someone used to consistently high achievement it was a painful wall to hit. Over the last two or three years my self-confidence has gone. (More or less.) I've had the feeling that life has been passing me by, that I haven't been able to cope, that my course has been going on around me and despite me rather than because of me. When I haven't been actively doing things to keep myself happy, I've been quite miserable at times. Several times I've thought seriously of quitting, changing course or worse. Didn't happen, though. I sat my course out to the bitter end. I went into the exams, I stayed in each one to the end and did my best. Though most of the time I felt that I wasn't going to pass (let alone get honours), I stuck at it. It's all over. [1] This is a lie. I'm all but starting after midnight on Wednesday night when this thing has to catch the Thursday evening post at the very latest. Oops! [2] And to repay you, I'm doing this issue of GIT in your "favourite" font!