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It's got lots of lumps on it but it's very soft. You can have it at any school if you have school dinners. You would have it cooked mostly unless you had a very funny appetite. 3. It comes out of your Mummy, and they eat sort of sausages on a string. 4. I was it once, and I was stuck on a shed roof at Diane's house. They tried to make steps with bricks but it wouldn't work so in the end I had to jump off the top. 5. She's from a show and she's got blonde hair. I think that's all I know about her. мЅe#Р аЙ,l,l  Њm(ь˜Tю m MS Sans Serif SymbolTimes New RomanTimes New Roman Arial0Courier NewAnd so, once more, dear friends, I dangle a couple of "sets of rules" hooks into the reservoir of potential players that is the OMR readership. If enough people bite, I'll be happy to run these - if there aren't enough takers, I won't! Games In Testing NOMIC I've mentioned in the past that I'm participating in a game of this run within Oxford University and enjoying it, so I've been looking for a way of playing this in a subzine. This initial rule-set looks very well suited for the job. I've lifted it directly from Berry Renken's e-mail zine Bluesmobile (of which I have seen three issues, and I already rate it highly). Berry comments that it's already being played in Back to the Dark Ages and on the Internet. Here are the rules. Or, at least, here are the initial rules. (1) All GIT readers participate in this truly ingenious game. (2) All participants receive one point each round. (3) Each round each participant may propose a new rule or a rule change. The game starts as soon as five or more people do this. (4) Each round the players may vote Yes or No to proposals made in the previous round. (5) If a proposal receives more Yes-votes than No-votes, it is accepted and will become effective in the round that follows. Happy rule-tinkering! I dread to think how badly you'll all mangle them - but look forward to finding out! "The wit and wisdom of..." You may recall that in issue 8 of GIT I mentioned Child's Play and my appearance thereon fifteen years back. To wit: Cheery-looking but confused kids would define words and phrases (without actually saying the word or phrase in question) to camera, and the footage thereof is played to two teams each consisting of a contestant and a civilian. The teams aim to guess just what the kids are talking about. Some of the best (and worst) definitions given in the show were recorded for posterity in the Child's Play book, from which I am drawing my source material. For each of five rounds I shall give a definition of a word proferred by a child in 1982-3 and award up to ten points to players who correctly guess what the child was defining, for five different words in each round. The last round may feature my own definitions so you can all see just how badly I embarrassed myself on television before I was nine. You could look up the answers in the book (ISBN 0-7126-1069-3) yourself, but where would be the fun in that? ROUND ONE In this, all the definitions are the wit and wisdom of David Mance, then aged 7. Don't think I ever met him. 1. Some people would think it's white, and it's got a circle at the bottom, then lots of arches over the top, and when you're thinking of questions it always tells you the answer... and it doesn't control any part of you, but it's very handy at times. 2. It's got lots of lumps on it but it's very soft. You can have it at any school if you have school dinners. You would have it cooked mostly unless you had a very funny appetite. 3. It comes out of your Mummy, and they eat sort of sausages on a string. 4. I was it once, and I was stuck on a shed roof at Diane's house. They tried to make steps with bricks but it wouldn't work so in the end I had to jump off the top. 5. She's from a show and she's got blonde hair. I think that's all I know about her. (This, as you will see when I reveal the answers next time, is not an especially accurate definition - but that's part of the fun of the game.) And there's just to say room for a spacefiller. Phil Hannay sent me an automatic anagram finding computer program which makes lazy spacefillers very easy. Predictably I started by finding anagrams of Christopher Dickson. Two of my favourites are "censorship torch kid" and "sphincter or hick sod". More goodies next time.