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NICK PARISH: 1) Robert Runcie 2) Ronald Reagan 3) Frank Sinatra Ol' Blue Eyes himself the clear favourite among the voters. Should Ronnie, Robert, Spike or Bob kick the bucket first then the respective punter gets their pound back and wins another one. If Frank Sinatra pegs out before 'em, the game is a draw, both stakes are returned and I weep with despair. Guess The Weight Of The Dickson Rules мЅe#Р ёђ,l,l  ЊG(ь˜Tю G MS Sans Serif Symbol VerdanaTimes New RomanThe Great GIT Panda Name Sweepstake The Bitter End Possibly the silliest thing that has happened in a zine that proudly enjoys a reputation for silliness has been the Great Panda Name Sweepstake episode. Very simply, I wrote a bit in GIT 6 about my cuddly toy pandas, mentioned all but one of their names and invited you to guess the last panda's name, giving you no clues whatsoever (or was I?) as to the panda's identity. I then dotted some subtle clues through GIT 7 and some bloody blatatnt ones through GIT 8, and this whole fuzzy episode reaches an inevitable conclusion. All this came half a dozen issues down the line from when I refused to reveal to anyone why my mysteriously-named numeric game Beffy Nose was so called. Mark Stetch suggested Bouncy Panda and mysteriously alleged that I was in some way as intimate with it as Mark Sheiham is with his inflatable whale. You have deep psychological problems. Gihan Bandaranaike rejected Beffy Nose as being too obvious and preferred Fuzzissimus but had seemed to change his mind when I was part of the Family Business Posse that infiltrated the Hobbyghod Table at MidCon and forcibly made them play games against their will. Dave Percik comments that it has to be Beffy Nose, though I should definitely call one Cuddleston. Also in the Beffy Nose supporting category were Gordon Aickin, Martin Bates, Phil Hannay, Jim Hardy, probably Andrew Huddleston, Uncle Tom Cobley and All. I am happy to reveal to you all that I was going to give the numeric game adjudicated on a nearby page the prosaic title of Random Rules but decided at the last minute to rename it in honour of a large panda who was sat on the adjacent bed, having come for a short holiday from his usual home atop The Big Wardrobe. Beffy Nose is the name of the panda in question. A winner has to be decided and the only appropriate way is to introduce some panda-inspired randomness into the proceedings; as the panda is not nearly regularly enough shaped to use as a die (unless anyone fancies rolling 1dpanda?), I have bounced dice off the eponymous panda's beffy nose, and the winner, selected at random, was Dave Percik. Dave wins the threatened mystery prize, which, barring a flash of inspiration, may take the form of the 3-for-the-price-of-2 chocolate variety. Memory points out that Martin Bates is similarly due a prize for Hang-Git. Thank you all for playing. Game end statements are not solicited. D E A D P O O L ' 9 8 Gamestart I had a tremendous total of two entries for The Dead Pool this year, whoo-hoo. Hopefully it'll do better next year. Time to start thinking about Dead Pool '99 already, perhaps? JAMES HARDY I: 1) Bob Hope 2) Roy Rogers 3) Catherine Hepburn JAMES HARDY II: 1) Bob Hope 2) Frank Sinatra 3) Spike Milligan (GM comment: I assume the second orders, sent by e-mail, overwrite the first, sent by post?) NICK PARISH: 1) Robert Runcie 2) Ronald Reagan 3) Frank Sinatra Ol' Blue Eyes himself the clear favourite among the voters. Should Ronnie, Robert, Spike or Bob kick the bucket first then the respective punter gets their pound back and wins another one. If Frank Sinatra pegs out before 'em, the game is a draw, both stakes are returned and I weep with despair. Guess The Weight Of The Dickson Rules Simple predict-o-games are Good Things in my view; they make the subzine look full and busy, are quick and easy to run and, if they cause a little jollity, are well worth the time and effort. As you may or may not know, I am the width of a gnat's Turbo under six feet tall and am often said to be on the skinny side. However, I possess the mass of a fat blobby bloke; as I write, 13 stone 6, or 190 pounds. Heavy bones, y'see... Anyway, in this game you have to, as it says, Guess The Weight Of The Dickson. 'Twould be too easy to ask you to guess my current poundage (a veritable exercise in reading comprehension), so I shall instead invite you all to submit guesses as to my naked body weight on the 1sts of March, June, September and December this 1998, along with optional abuse at the immensity of the numbers in question. I shall weigh myself on said days and award all players one penalty point for each pound that they are out each time. The player with fewest penalty points at the end of '98 wins a Mystery Prize (tm). It's as simple as that!