аЯрЁБс>ўџ ўџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџ§џџџўџџџўџџџ  ўџџџўџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџRoot Entryџџџџџџџџ РF`ˆуЮФ Н€WordDocumentџџџџџџџџ %CompObjџџџџџџџџџџџџ^џџџџџџџџџџџџўџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџџBC‘’“џALXYЕЖ  \]|}лм  /01=wxy|ˆњѕёэщхрмзгЯЩУНЗБЋЅŸ›•‰ƒ}wqlga[VU]a  UV]a  UV]a V]a V]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a ]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a ]a ]a U]a ]a ]^a ]a ]a ]a ]a U]a U]a  ˆЧШЩЫЬдуфхё"#$1z{|ЁЂЃЎхц:;<I’“”ћїђьчсмзбЬШФПЙДЏЉЄ œ—‘Œˆ‚|vrlfa\V UV]a V]a V]a  UV]a  UV]a ]a  UV]a  UV]a  UV]a ]a V]a  UV]a U]a ]a ]a U]a  UV]a V]a V]a  UV]a U]a ]a ]a U]a  UV]a V]a V]a  UV]a U]a  UV]a U]a ]a ]a !”Ђзи" # $ 8 w x y ‚ Э Ю Я к љ њ ћ  I J K ‡ ˆ ‰ ž х ц ч u € ђ  њіђюъхпкеЯЪЦТНЗВ­ЇЂžš–’Ž‰ƒ~ytpkgb^Z]a ]a U]a ]a U]a ]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a U]a ]a ]a ]a ]a ]a U]a  UV]a V]a V]a  UV]a U]a ]a ]a U]a  UV]a V]a V]a  UV]a U]a ]a ]a ]a ]a U]a # ` a b Ž   м н о ) * + ` a b f v w x { … † ‡ а р с т у ъ њѕ№ыцсмзвЭШУОЙДЏЉЄŸš”Š…|xtpje`[V]a V]a V]a  UV]a ]a ]a ]a U]a ]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a !CDEHMvwx­ЎЏъыь№ј"CDEIL€ŠЏАњєяъхркеаЫЦТОКЖВЎЊЅЁœ—‘Œ‡‚}wrmhc_ZU]a ]a U]a U]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a V]a ]a U]a ]a ]a ]a ]a ]a ]a ]a U]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a "АБЛьэюrstЯабйцч89IJњѕёэщхсмжбЫЦСМЗВЌІЁœ˜“‹]a ]a ]^a ]a V]a V]a  UV]a  UV]a V]a V]a V]a V]a V]a  UV]a V]a  UV]a V]a ]a ]a ]a ]a ]a U]a U]a C’“Y}м 0xШф#{Ђц;“и# x Ю њ њєющфпйгЮЩФПКЕАЊЄŸš•‹†№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№њ J ˆ ц ч a  н * a w † ‡ т DwЎыD€Аэњѕ№ыцсмзвЭШУОЙДЏЊЅ ›–‘Œ‡№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№№мЅe#Р J%G,$l,$l$$ $ ЊY($ь$˜$Tю$ Y MS Sans Serif Symbol0Courier NewTimes New Roman Verdana T h e P a n t s P a n t s R o u n d (in the all-new wonderful Verdana proportional font. Do you think much of it?) It's another themed letter column, based on the success of my "pants" article (anyone with the opinion that all my articles are pants, kindly leave the stage) and a piece of Dave Percik brilliance: I fear you underestimate the versatility of the pants joke. To demonstrate, here are two sets of historical quotations, one ancient and one modern. Feel free to edit as you wish or even chuck the whole lot. There are currently twenty-one in each group by a strange coincidence. Alas, space only permits a sample of, we'll say, seven from each. They were excellent, though. SEVEN CLASSICAL QUOTATIONS THAT CAN BE IMPROVED BY REPLACING KEY WORDS WITH "PANTS" 1. Sophocles: Wonders are many, and none is more wonderful than pants. 2. Aristophanes: Oh we are the musical pants, we sing in the marshes and bogs. 3. Xenophon: Pants! Pants! 4. Aristotle: He who enjoys pants is either a beast or a god. 5. Archimedes: Give me but one firm spot on which to stand, and I will move the pants. 6. Cato the Elder: Delenda est pants. 7. Augustus: I found Rome made of brick and left it made of pants. SEVEN HISTORICAL QUOTATIONS THAT CAN BE IMPROVED BY REPLACING KEY WORDS WITH "PANTS" 1. Mary Tudor: When I am dead and opened up, you shall find "pants" lying in my heart. 2. Elizabeth I: I know I have the pants of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and stomach of a king. 3. Benjamin Franklin: In this world nothing can be certain, except death and pants. 4. Nelson: Before this time tomorrow I shall have gained pants or Westminster Abbey. 5. Napoleon: An army marches on its pants. 6. Benjamin Disraeli: Lord Salisbury and myself have brought you back pants - but pants I hope with honour. 7. David Lloyd George: What is our task? To make Britain a fit country for pants to live in. You may recall that I mentioned last time that I had posted the original 21 Star Wars themed quotes to a World Wide Web site dedicated to the Gamesmaster TV show on Channel 4, this decision being based on host Dominik Diamond's predilection for the use of said word. Dominik Diamond himself: This topic is so brilliant that I printed it out and it now hangs on my office wall. Might I be so bold as to add the following: The scene: Bespin Cloud City. Han Solo has been captured by Boba Fett and is about to be frozen in carbonite for the long journey back to Jabba's place. As he is about to drop, Princess Leia runs to him... LEIA: I love pants. HAN: I know. Lastly, five selected Star Wars themed quotes posted to the same page by Rik H 'n' John H: 1. LUKE: Your overconfidence is your weakness. EMPEROR: Your faith in your pants is yours. VADER: It is pointless to resist... my pants. 2. LUKE: I don't want your help. I want my lamp back. I'll need it to get out of these slimy pants. CREATURE: Pants? Slimy? My home this is. 3. LEIA: Stop that! My pants are dirty. HAN: My pants are dirty, too. What are you afraid of? 4. LUKE: Boy, it's lucky you had these pants. HAN: I use them for smuggling. I never thought I'd be smuggling myself in them. 5. HAN: I've outrun Imperial pants,not the local bulk-pants, mind you. I'm talking about the big Corellian pants now. She's fast enough for you, old man. What's the cargo? BEN: Only pants. Please, be glad I stopped quoting them before they got on to "Star Whores". Even I have standards. эsачJњѕ№ыц№№№№№J JGџџџџџџџџ%!K@ёџNormala "A@ђџЁ"Default Paragraph Fontаџ@ўџ џџџџ РFMicrosoft Word 6.0 Document MSWordDocє9Вq